"Getting to know others in the way that fosters closeness means coming to understand them from their own perspective. This is substantially different from how we usually “know” people. We tend to believe we know someone when we’ve interacted with him a lot and developed our own theory of “how he is.” But to create closeness you must, above all else, understand how he sees himself.
Once you can see him from his own perspective, the next step is to start communicating that you care about him. In other words, show him you’re interested, engaged, and invested in his happiness and well-being. This doesn’t mean becoming “concerned” or worried about his well-being, which is really just you dumping your anxieties onto the other person, it simply means communicating that he matters to you."
from Loneliness Has an Antidote and You’ll Never Guess What It Is:
http://psychcentral.com/blog
